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scum master

this is kinda weird but have you every had a feeling of identity crisis?

the feeling when it’s too shallow to be an expert but knee deep in shit? i guess that’s how i desribe a scrum master.

working in a fast paced, acurately detail calculation environment makes me want to break things and learn faster, but this kind of behaviour has its downside. usually management. it tends to wander of the main goal.

let’s say there’s one project to make a table replication between 2 cluster.

as an engineer, my steps are usually:

  1. plan what kind of data to be copied:
    • files -> distcp
    • tables -> get table location -> distcp
  2. testout commands of distcp, get a good grip of what does what
  3. get a good old click cli utility for making a tui
  4. tui with some flexibility
  5. do the shit
  6. find some bottlenecks (usually networks, file count or just big ass folder)
  7. optimize, optimize

in a pm eyes, this usually takes 2-3 weeks, while usually, depends on how much data being process, this shit will be done in less than 2 days.

after a project finishes, users sometimes get to add a new feature out of thin air. this usually breaks the original code, and much refaactor is needed.

THIS PROCESS IS THE MOST PAINFUL OF THEM ALL.

PMs are pushed between two worlds of to get a grip of engineer “friends”, or suck up to the boss (users, for the sake of argument let’s say BOD)

this process of (tarik ulur) pushing and pulling between expectations comes with great measure of time.

thus come the middle management, called scrum master.

scrum master like its name is the scummest scummy scum of them all.

they doesn’t know any of technical knowledge to achieve one goal, yet is bound to report to BODs making PMs obsolete.

to compensate with (lack thereof) technical skill this scums of earth usually makes up with crazy ass random butt naked random words.

“Okay baik, noted buat progress per orangnya, gimana kalo kita retrospect agar bisa achieve framework daripada machine learning blockchain 4.0”

jesus fucking christ i just got ear and eye cancer at the same time.